Before we were married we talked about desiring to adopt. Adoption wasn't the alternative to not having a biological baby. The question was when will we adopt. I began researching the other day and found Bethany Christian Services. I signed us up to receive the information packet and called to register for an upcoming information meeting. The day I called the agency, I received an email earlier that morning explaining that currently, the agency was only taking application for non-Caucasian or special needs infants. This struck me. Adopting a non-Caucasian child had always been something that I thought about and desired. I told the lady over the phone that maybe this was a sign from the Lord.
When I got off the phone, an overwhelming stream of emotion came over me. I was crying hysterically, but I wasn't sad. For the first time during this whole nightmare I felt peace and hope. What a privilege it would be to be chosen from God and a birth mother to be someone's mother?! Is God telling me something? Was this the plan for us?
I read an article from an infertility magazine that was discussing when a couple knows they are ready for adoption. It said that when a couple knows they would rather be parents than pregnant then they are ready to seek out adoption. I feel like I am there and I always have been. I compare myself to others and they aren't there. Is this because God has given me this desire and not others? I have no idea. Please pray for wisdom and clarity.
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