Purpose of This Blog

I felt compelled a couple of weeks ago to share my story. After listening to a sermon, the phrase don't waste your tears came to mind. The sermon was based on the scripture, Those who sow in tears will reap with joy, He who goes weeping, carrying seed to sow will return with songs of joy. Psalm 126:5 My desire and hope for this blog is to not only help me through this season, but to encourage others with what God is doing in my life. I pray that this blog helps me and you see God's grace, love, and presence through every step of this journey. My dear friend explained to me the other day that her season of infertility was the sweetest thing she had every endured. She encouraged me to not waste my infertility. This is me not wasting it.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

My Color Today Was Black

My friend asked me the other day if my mood/ feeling was a color what would that color be for the day? Today my color was black. I cried four times, dealt with an upset stomach (that I have been dealing with for the past 8 days), and almost threw up. Today, my mind and heart was flooded with lie after lie, question after question, anger... I hate being angry.

I came across a quote in a book that I am reading and it is said, "Jesus is the Victor." How good that is to be reminded of? I am in spiritual warfare, but a war where I know the winner! Because of this, I must fight daily through every thought and every emotion. "We fight to capture every thought until it acknowledges the authority of Christ."  Every thought and every emotion that was against God, doubting God has to be surrendered. I try so often  to explain to God why my own feelings/plans ought to be considered, why his were all WRONG. This has to be captured, made to acknowledge Christ as the Victor. "A surrendered mind is not one which is no longer in operation. It is, rather, a mind freed from rebellion and opposition. To be Christ's captive is to be perfectly free."
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