The Flicker

Today was very surreal. We began our journey to Augusta around 7 a.m. Surprisingly, I was pretty calm! We thought and thought and prayed and prayed about whether or not to transfer one or two embryos. From the beginning, I have been pretty sure I would transfer two. Everyone I pretty much talked to said transfer two except for the doctor, the nurse, and my husband. The idea of twins didn't scare me. It was all of the complications that could occur with twins. Yesterday, I called the doctor and told him I wanted to transfer two. He asked me if I was really sure about this and reminded me of the seriousness of it. Well, that conversation confused the heck out of me. By the end of the night even with all of the possible complications, I had made up my mind I was willing to risk it and  transfer two. Even my husband was somewhat on board. Although, I had made up my mind I had an an extreme sense of fear with no peace in the midst. With the high chances of me overstimulating (I am still not out of the clear yet, it could still happen within five days), pregnancy would make that worse and twins would make that even more worse.

Around 12 midnight, I was still in the bed very scared. What are we going to do? I decided to do some research on my own. Most people do transfer two embryos; however, there is still success with one. Yes, it is somewhat lower, but it can happen. You know the saying, "It only takes one!" I actually hate that saying but whatever. Through researching, I found that my chances of having multiples was extremely high because of three factors: my age, this is my first IVF cycle, and the quality of my embryos are really good. The doctor told me that if I transferred one I had about a 30% chance of getting pregnant, if I transferred two my chances increased to possibly 60% with a 25-30% chance of multiples. Four out of my five friends that have undergone IVF are pregnant with twins currently. What if I did two, they both implanted, and I overstimulate? Or I could transfer one, maybe get pregnant, and have a healthier baby and pregnancy? If it didn't work we could go back in a month or two and use our frozen embryos and I will be a lot healthier then because I won't have to pump myself with all of the medication (some but not nearly as much). Maybe transferring two is the "faster" way to get pregnant but is it the wisest for our family right now? Many people choose two and I believe it is all a very personal decision. Maybe if it doesn't work this time, I will transfer two next time. I truly believe the Lord has been teaching me patience throughout this whole process. Even my doctor says, if you are patient you will get pregnant. (I take all of this with a grain of salt. My doctor isn't God.) Although it was hard to make the choice, that could result in a negative result, we decided to transfer one. Patience isn't exactly my strong point in life so this was a very hard decision to make. This decision gave me immediate peace. I can't explain the feeling that overcame me. Praise God for doing this!

We arrived in Augusta around 10:30. I took my good ole Valium pill. Praise God for this! I also had to drink lots of water to fill my bladder up. The procedure was a piece of cake compared to everything else I have been through. My sweet husband held my hand and rubbed my head the entire time. He said that he couldn't feel his fingers afterwards! I laid there and watched the screen as they used a tube to put the embryo in. It looked like a little flicker on the screen! It was really amazing that they can even do this. Thank you God that they can! The doctor asked me if I was doing okay. I said, "Yes, I am just trying not to pee on you." How embarrassing! It was definitely the medicine talking. So now, we wait until October 17th for the pregnancy test.

Please pray:
1. That the baby embryo would implant and we would become pregnant.
2. That the overstimulation wouldn't happen.